Hi, I'm new here, but I'm not new to chronic pain. I have severe nerve damage in the brachial plexus (nerve center) of my right as the result of a
30/30 rifle bullet passing through the shoulder and severing most of the nerves while taking large chunks of the clavicle out upon exit. Nerves were taken from
my left calf to piece the nerves in my shoulder back together and I regained about 80% use of the arm and a great reduction in the pain (a miracle really).
This all happened 24 years ago when I was 17yo. By the time I was 20, I was doing well enough that I had no need to continue visits with a neurologist (I thought). I managed to go on and get married, have 4 children and live a fairly normal life.
Then, about 5 years ago, I noticed that the pain was increasing in my shoulder and arm. I went to a GP and he worked with some nsaids, etc to try to help. It helped for a while but not when the pain really got cranked up. I have two kinds of pain, one from the arthritis and one from some compression on the nerves from either scar tissue, schrapnel, or not having a clavicle to keep my shoulder up.
Finally, I asked to go to a neurologist because I felt my arm was weaker and the pain was getting worse. He has tried a couple of things including PT and anodyne treatment for 6 weeks. It seemed to help some but now that I've been off the anodyne for about 4 weeks, the pain is returning. I can handle it when it is a dull pain, but when I have taken the nsaids and anti convulsants for nerve pain and still, the pain gets full blown, I am miserable.
I consider myself to be a strong person and I have endured much as most have, but this pain is nothing less than unbearable. I want to crawl off into a corner, curl up into a ball and rock back and forth while sobbing. I can't function as the Mother of 4 young kids with that going on. It's not like that every day, but it is often several times a week and ALL day.
I'm tired of hurting. I remember when the nerves in there were still severed before they pieced them back together. They told me it's just like power lines cut in half - the ends are hot and on fire and burn you. The ONLY relief I got then was from narcotic drugs. The pain I am having now is the same pain as I had then. I don't think any anti convulsant drug is going to touch it to be honest. And they keep throwing antidepressants at me saying they might "fool" my brain into thinking I'm not "really" hurting as bad as I think I am.
I've tried to be patient, but I am getting really frustrated. At times, I have tried to dull the pain by drinking. That's not good, I know, but I will do about anything to make the pain go away.
My question is this: If narcotic drugs end up being all that work for me, what can I do? I mean, I feel like when I explain how bad the pain is, all the Docs are lifting an eyebrow suspecting me of being some "drug seeker" as I have heard some called. I am not seeking drugs. I hate taking as much meds as I do now. BUT, I DON'T WANT TO LIVE THE REST OF MY LIFE IN HORRIBLE PAIN. And....if it means taking narcotic drugs permanently, shouldn't I have a right to be at least somewhat pain free. I'm just a bit ticked that the Docs would withold relief from me.
I called the neurologist yesterday after a horrible previous day of pain (which I drank away after my kids were asleep due to no other options - to me - at that point, what's the differenece in relief in the form of a pill or of a liquid?) and the nurse called back and said they could change my med to another anti-convulsant and she could give me a Liiiitttlllle bit ( stressing the little part) of something like vicoden to get me through for now. I felt like I was being treated like an addict. That ticks me off. I am a responsible wife and Mother of 4 kids who takes on some major tasks. I'm not a stinkin druggie. I resent being treated as such.
Sorry for the long rant. And me being new here, I do not mean to imply that my pain is worse than yours in any way. I am not out to offend any. I just want to know, do any of you guys deal with this? Is there any hope for me if it turns out the narcotic drugs are the only relief I can get. Will I be able to find a Doc who will help me with that long term?
HELP, please!!
This all happened 24 years ago when I was 17yo. By the time I was 20, I was doing well enough that I had no need to continue visits with a neurologist (I thought). I managed to go on and get married, have 4 children and live a fairly normal life.
Then, about 5 years ago, I noticed that the pain was increasing in my shoulder and arm. I went to a GP and he worked with some nsaids, etc to try to help. It helped for a while but not when the pain really got cranked up. I have two kinds of pain, one from the arthritis and one from some compression on the nerves from either scar tissue, schrapnel, or not having a clavicle to keep my shoulder up.
Finally, I asked to go to a neurologist because I felt my arm was weaker and the pain was getting worse. He has tried a couple of things including PT and anodyne treatment for 6 weeks. It seemed to help some but now that I've been off the anodyne for about 4 weeks, the pain is returning. I can handle it when it is a dull pain, but when I have taken the nsaids and anti convulsants for nerve pain and still, the pain gets full blown, I am miserable.
I consider myself to be a strong person and I have endured much as most have, but this pain is nothing less than unbearable. I want to crawl off into a corner, curl up into a ball and rock back and forth while sobbing. I can't function as the Mother of 4 young kids with that going on. It's not like that every day, but it is often several times a week and ALL day.
I'm tired of hurting. I remember when the nerves in there were still severed before they pieced them back together. They told me it's just like power lines cut in half - the ends are hot and on fire and burn you. The ONLY relief I got then was from narcotic drugs. The pain I am having now is the same pain as I had then. I don't think any anti convulsant drug is going to touch it to be honest. And they keep throwing antidepressants at me saying they might "fool" my brain into thinking I'm not "really" hurting as bad as I think I am.
I've tried to be patient, but I am getting really frustrated. At times, I have tried to dull the pain by drinking. That's not good, I know, but I will do about anything to make the pain go away.
My question is this: If narcotic drugs end up being all that work for me, what can I do? I mean, I feel like when I explain how bad the pain is, all the Docs are lifting an eyebrow suspecting me of being some "drug seeker" as I have heard some called. I am not seeking drugs. I hate taking as much meds as I do now. BUT, I DON'T WANT TO LIVE THE REST OF MY LIFE IN HORRIBLE PAIN. And....if it means taking narcotic drugs permanently, shouldn't I have a right to be at least somewhat pain free. I'm just a bit ticked that the Docs would withold relief from me.
I called the neurologist yesterday after a horrible previous day of pain (which I drank away after my kids were asleep due to no other options - to me - at that point, what's the differenece in relief in the form of a pill or of a liquid?) and the nurse called back and said they could change my med to another anti-convulsant and she could give me a Liiiitttlllle bit ( stressing the little part) of something like vicoden to get me through for now. I felt like I was being treated like an addict. That ticks me off. I am a responsible wife and Mother of 4 kids who takes on some major tasks. I'm not a stinkin druggie. I resent being treated as such.
Sorry for the long rant. And me being new here, I do not mean to imply that my pain is worse than yours in any way. I am not out to offend any. I just want to know, do any of you guys deal with this? Is there any hope for me if it turns out the narcotic drugs are the only relief I can get. Will I be able to find a Doc who will help me with that long term?
HELP, please!!
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