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I DO know the pain of losing someone and I can empathize with you and everyone else that has lost a loved one. I lost my 5 year old daughter sO believe me, I know. I also know what its like to live every single second of every single day in pain and I can assure you at least when the rest of the world moves on after your loss, you are able to move with it. Whereas us painers are not able to move with the world. The world goes on and we are unable to do much of anything and the reason is because those that don't take their meds as prescribed &/or those that take these (this) medication(s) for recreational purposes are not just harming themselves but everyone else around them.

I didn't set out, as I said previously, to live my life in unending relentless pain. Not a choice I made, not by a long shot. However, when I was younger and I did different drugs just for the fun of it I did, in fact, set out to do that. Totally different situations and one should not be condemned because of the other.

I have yet to read a case where a patient took their methadone as prescribed and died in the first week. If you know of a situation like this then by all means, please educate me.

In my 8 years of living in pain and fighting every second of that 8 years for some kind of relief I have found that it is by far easier to go out on the street corner and purchase whatever pain meds my little heart desires. Unlike trying to get a legitimate prescription where it is virtually impossible.

Are you aware of how many people have lost their lives because they were unable to optain ANY kind of pain relief? And I'm not talking stub the toe, break the foot, road rash on your face pain I'm talking about pain that is more intense then any other feeling I've ever had in my lifetime. Here's what you can try, run your tub with scalding hot water and sit in it until it cools off. When it cools off, do it all over again until you can't stand it. You can get out at that point and remedy your ailments correct? With chronic intractable pain you can't get out and remedy it, you can't mask it, all you can do is keep sitting in that burning hot tub of water over and over and over even after all the skin has been burnt off your body.

No pain is good, be it emotional, mental, physical, or whatever, and one cannot even compare the pain of losing a child to the pain of what we live with every single day unless they have been in both situations. One pain does NOT outweigh another I can attest to this. Sure I'd like to have my daughter back more then I'd like to be rid of my cip, but fact it it's not going to happen.

When we lose someone we love we have to blame someone, it's part of the grieving process. We have to make ourselves believe that our loved ones would not have done something if they weren't forced, coerced or wrongly convinced. Fact is, life is short and there are no guarantees. I should not be held accountable for someone else's loved one that abused the very medications that I find life sustaining. If my child died because of insulin do you think they would stop giving it to diabetics?? No!!! Cancer patients die because the chemotherapy is too strong for their heart, but do they take away everyone's chemo??? NO, they don't!! Children are physically, mentally and emotionally handicapped from immunizations on a daily basis but do they stop giving immunizations to our children?? NO, they don't!!

It's like people that smoke are aware of lung cancer, throat cancer and all that stuff but do they not smoke??? No they don't. Millions die from drunk drivers but do they quit drinking or quit driving for that matter??? No, they don't. That would be a good example, people drink and drive all the time. Why isn't there an organization set up to stop people that don't drink from driving??? Why withhold life sustaining medications from patients because others think they are invincible and make wrong choices? Not saying that everyone that makes a wrong choice should expect to die, not at all.

I'm extremely sorry for your loss. It's terrible that anyone has to die, it truly is. But, just because children die should we not have them?? We can't protect our children from everything, the best we can do as parents is give our children the knowledge to know right from wrong, what they do with that knowledge is out of our hands. We can only hope and pray that their stay on this earth is longer then ours, and that's not always the case.

I'm still in awe of you stating "There is no greater pain", because you have no clue. As I said, it IS painful losing a loved one, especially a child, and I know this first hand. But I can assure you its just as painful not being able to be there for your children because you have been afflicted with cip (chronic intractable pain). Where is the justice in that? So because you lost a loved one my children do not deserve a mother that can be there for them, with them, doing things together, learning things together, all the things that "normal" parents do with their children - those of us with cip are unable to do with ours. You think there can be no pain that severe? I can assure you, if you read some of the stories of people that have lived in pain you would feel a whole lot different. Sometimes our own pain (be it physical, emotional, or whatever) blinds us from the reality of the here and now and what is REALLY going on in the world around us.

I didn't choose to lose my child when she was 5 years old, nor did I choose to live the majority of my life in pain, and I damn sure didn't choose to not be able to be a viable part of my other children's lives. You have a choice, you can rejoice in the memories that you were able to make, thank God for the mind to be able to remember them, and honor your loved one by continuously revealing the good that was within them, or you can revel in the hatred you have with the reason you lost your loved one. But don't hate me or the very meds that allow me to spend time with my twelve year old daughter, don't make it where my daughter loses her mother, and please, don't take the meds that allow me to be able to spend time with her away. My time with her is limited because of my pain already, do I really deserve to rot because your loved one made a bad choice, was midguided, or undereducated about the drug that took their life??? What makes your loved ones life any better then mine? Because they were YOUR loved one and you don't care about anyone else?

When I read of cases where patients are dying after the first one or two correctly taken doses of methadone then I might think differently but so far it's been cases of young men & women partying and going after that infamous "euphoria" (that I have NEVER had while taking methadone, so they do NOT prescribe high doses right away), or those that are out to end their lives in whatever manner they can and methadone just happened to be handy. There are a lot of drs in prison for supposedly over prescribing, how many of them do you REALLY know well enough to pass judgement without knowing the TRUE facts of each individual case? It's easy to pass judgement from the outside, it's easy to cast stones, but it is less easy to truly understand the situation. The pain of losing a loved one eases as time goes on, it is always there, but it becomes less severe over time. Chronic intractable pain never goes away, it never lessens, and it does NOT become less severe as time goes by as a matter of fact it intensifies, it gets stronger, and it takes more lives then most people know about. Thousands of painers die every week because they cannot bear the physical pain and all that goes with it any longer.

There's a whole lot more to cip then you realize apparently. I will offer you a challenge, I will educate myself on methadone and those that have lost their lives to it if you will educate yourself on all that chronic intractable pain does to a person. It's not just the physical pain, its the emotional horror, the mental anguish, the financial ruin, the list goes on and one and on.